‘Sis Rose, I didn’t marry you because of sex, I married you because I love you. Love is the basis for our union and not sex. I didn’t tell you all these because I love you with all my heart. Don’t push me to sleep with you if you don’t know the reason why I don’t want to sleep with you. You must have been thinking of many things in your mind like; if I am impotent or over-spiritual. I am not impotent neither am I over-spiritual. I am a complete man and will prove that in no time if you are patient.
You could remember the last time we traveled to your place for our wedding introduction and the four hours meeting I had with your parents and the elders in your clan? Did you notice I came out of the meeting moody and unhappy? You remember you asked me what was it we discussed for that long without you in the meeting? You also remember I had a 30 minutes meeting with your dad later that night?’ ‘Yes I remember everything you mentioned’, she replied. What does that have to do with you not performing your conjugal obligation as my husband? If you are not impotent, prove it now and spare me all of these questions? I am not in court neither am I facing an elders council.
The only language I understand now is Sex! Sex! Sex! And nothing but sex. When people marry, it is normal for them to be anxious to devour themselves especially if they have not done it before. What I expect you to do now is to remove my pant and bra and make me feel like a woman and not tell me stories. I didn’t marry you to tell me stories, I married you so you can make me a real woman.
Since you have decided to make me unhappy at my supposed honeymoon, you will never know happiness in your life. May God give you 100 fold of the pain you have caused me on the day of my joy. The scripture says, “defraud not one another” but you have defrauded me, may God pay you back all you have done to me.’ Sis Rose, while in tears rained curses on her newly wedded husband.
‘Sis Rose, are you cursing me? What have I done to warrant these terrible curses you just landed on me when you have not given me room to explain myself. I wish you could be patient enough to listen to me.’ She interjected him, to listen to what? Who will listen to a half-man like you? Who will listen to a man who cannot make love to his wife, 24 hours after the wedding. Who will listen to an impotent man like you? Why she was naming him and renaming him with disgusting names, his phone rang. It was a call from his guests who had waited tirelessly for him. Bro Solo where are you? This is 10 minutes to 12 noon. He checked the wall clock and he remembered if his guests stay in the hotel beyond 12 that means a full payment for a day. He picked his bunch of keys and rushed out without seeking his wife’s consent anymore.
By the time he got to the hotel it was 16 minutes past 12. ‘You are welcome sir the hotel clerk greeted him with a scheduled bill of N85,000 for his guests for another day. But I am here to check them out, I am sorry for coming late. As you can see I just wedded and have lots to attend to. Please cancel the bill because they are not staying any further.’
‘I am sorry that is not possible sir, it’s a policy we don’t have control over. Even if they are not going to stay further you have to pay for exceeding the stipulated time of 12 noon.’ ‘
O my God, this is not fair’ he protested! ‘But we told you before they checked in. We also stated it clearly in our guest handbook.’
He rushed back to the house to pick from the money people sprayed them at their wedding reception. He got home and found the door slightly jammed. He rushed in and went for the money bag but it was not there again. ‘Where are you dear?’ No response! ‘Sis Rose, where are you? Where is the money bag we kept here?’ The absolute silence caused him to look round the house just to see a note on his bed.
“This is to tell you I have gone for good. I cannot live with a chameleon and an impotent man like you. Don’t look for me until you find solution to your impotence. I have carried my box and the money they sprayed us at the wedding. While you continue your prayer meeting, I am going to sleep with any man who is willing to make me feel like a woman. God bless you Mr prayer warrior”. Rose.
Are you still guessing? Part 4 is on the way.
A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye